While having a varied armoury to rival the Batcave sounds like a good idea, I am actually quite frightened of Kitchen equipment.
I recall a very good friend of mine once contemplating buying me a coffee maker but opting not too when she was by reminded that “it has too many buttons for Mikey”.
Albeit born this side of 1990, I am a rare breed in that anything with buttons is terrifying and any piece of equipment created to simplify an already simple process is lost on me.
I don’t need a coffee maker. Coffee making was easy to begin with.
I don’t need an ice cream maker. I have good forearms.
I don’t need a spiralizer. I have a life.
However, having said this, there is one piece of Kitchen equipment I will never be without and that is a food processor.
I stole my first food processor from my mother’s house and then had the nerve to ask her to test recipes that required one.
This is the kind of son I am.
I used it so much one day, when I was mid mix, it began smoking. To begin with, I thought my paprika mix had given the food a real intense smoky flavour but no. It was just on fire.
I went into a primal state of panic and immediately went to Argos.
I didn’t need something with bells and whistles. I didn’t need a thousand attachments. I didn’t need a fancy colour. All I needed was a processor built to do its job – process the s*** out of my ingredients.
Here are four recipes where the processor will be your best friend. I would even go as far as to say that these four recipes justify buying a damn processor anyway. It doesn’t need to be expensive. It needs blades and it needs a motor.
The rest is just the flick of a button.
Cajun Mushroom Tacos with Mango Salsa & Pink Radish Slaw
If it’s wrapped in a fajita, it’s for me. This recipe is a delicious accidentally vegan take on tacos where mushrooms are used to create a meaty, rubbly mince and seasoned to within an inch of its life with the smoky soul of Cajun spices. Perfect for a gathering where 80% of it can be made in advance to eliminate stress.
Twice as light as a normal brownie but equally punchy in flavour. The architecture of this Blondie is made up of blitzed butter beans – not for vegan or millennial virtue, but because it gives a super silky texture in lieu of that pesky flour that sometimes makes a bake too crumbly. Crumbly is not a word I want associated with my Blondies. Infused with peanut butter and candied ginger, these Blondies are banging to put out for any party.
Mushroom & Chestnut Sliders with Quick Apricot Mustard Chutney
A recipe I’ve held with me since my vegetarian days where a slider is built up from processed mushrooms and bound with the familiar bite of chestnuts. These sliders hold their shape perfectly in a tortilla or a bun (I love a floury white bap myself) and it’s the kind of burger you can really have some fun with. Plastic cheese, the gherkin, the chutney, the tomato, the lettuce – the entire kitchen sink slapped between two buns and this slider will not have you begging for meat, you have my word.
Cashew Nut Hummus & Garlic Pita Chips
The staple recipe for any food processor is a hummus. I’ve had two food processors in my life so far and the first thing I made in both was a hummus. This hummus in particular is elevated with some peanut butter and vehicle’d to the mouth by some garlic slathered pita chips which bake in the oven while you put together the hummus. Easy, process-y, delicious.
The hummus for starters, the tacos or sliders for dinner, the blondies for pud.
You can count on me to have you covered.
I also just realised all of these options are vegetarian? I promise you that was not planned.
I like happy accidents like this.